|This is an open letter to any one
who is considering placing their baby girl with an adoptive family. We long
to adopt a baby girl to complete our family. My name is Sasha Mitchell.
I am 37 years old, the oldest of three sisters, and being the only girl
in our home I especially dream of sharing my life with a daughter. All through
my life I have cared for and mothered the little girls around me, from babysitting
at age 9, up to caring for my "baby sister" eighteen years my
junior. My husband Trip and I have been married for 10 years, and are blessed
with 3 lovely sons who were born to us. Although I love my boys dearly,
I have a lot of motherly love to give a daughter, someone with whom I hope
to share the gifts I have been blessed with as a woman. |
I committed to attachment parenting and providing a loving and nurturing home for our family. I enjoy genealogical research, crafting, reading, sewing and hand embroidery, and making my house a home. I love being able to be at home to care for our family, and as our kids grow I plan to continue to work from our home. I am bi-racial with an African American father and a mother of English and Irish heritage. Trip is a 38 year old graphic production artist, whose favorite hobbies are working and playing on his computer, and video games. He is a loving and devoted father. He is the oldest of two brothers, and his family has mostly German and Scottish heritage.
Our children enjoy each other, pretending, books and crafts. We encourage and pursue learning about their interests. Obviously I enjoy sharing our lives through this website, through which we keep in touch with friends and family near and far. Elliot is an energetic and thoughtful 8 year old who enjoys teaching his brothers. He loves reading and computer games. Alex is 5 1⁄2, very affectionate and loves numbers wearing a pedometer and watch and carrying his calculator most of the time, Nathan is 3 1⁄2, and loves pretending and building "monsters" out of Legos.
In the process of researching this process and the way it affects families, I have learned abut the sad experiences of many women who were coerced into giving up their babies, and even more who may have believed it was their only choice, pressured by the industry that has come up around especially Domestic Infant Adoption. No matter what the reason, many women have come away scarred and harmed by the process because they never imagined the grief that would come and in many cases grow after losing their babies. One way to avoid this is to insist on thorough and honest counseling, longer relinquishment periods, and less of what I'll call "marketing pressure" from agencies and even from letters such as this - in effect making my family sound as appealing as possible, which may put even more pressure on a woman who is questioning her ability to mother. My attempt to describe my family isn't meant to idealize my family life. I love my family and consider them one of the joys of my life, but we are just a normal group of people with faults like everyone else.
I am not sure what my attempts at perfect candor here will mean for my hope to adopt, but it is something I am trying to do wisely. It means that for our hoped for daughter AND her birth parents Open Adoption is our preference. I imagine that the believing your daughter has the best chance at a happy future being raised by another family is a gut wrenching thought even if you are sure you don't want to raise a child. I can't imagine how the feeling of loss will evolve for a mother who gives her child to another to raise. I can only say that in my heart of hearts I would cherish a daughter and would always honor the woman who gave her life. A bridge between our families is something we would have to build together.
Another experience that has brought me to a strong belief in Open Adoption is my own experience as a Search Angel. Friends and family who knew about my interest in family history asked for my help in locating birth parents and lost family members. I used the facts we had available, research skills, knowledge and intuition, and I believe I often had some kind of gift of guidance that helped me easily locate and reunite these families in what have so far all been warm and happy reunions. I was able to reunite several families and was able to see and hear first hand the happiness it brought, and what a blessing it was for each of them to finally find each other. I think that by maintaining a connection with birth parents, adopted children can grow up feeling loved and cherished in their adoptive families, while knowing their birth parents chose to show their love and hope for their child's future by sharing their children with chosen families.
If you would like to discuss this with us further, please contact Sasha. I am hopeful and committed to pursuing adoption with love and compassion.
Date Last Modified: September 6, 2006